Scream Media

Distillery District, Toronto - It was the interview from hell.

An invitation from a possible client went all bad, pitting my good manners against her dizzy headed inability to recognize my name and what I was there for.

It all started with a call from Christy at Condos.ca. Christy had found my resume online, and was excited to see that I had graduated from college with a Journalism diploma. “What about your experience with the PMAC?” she asked, so I explained to her my professional experience with the PMAC.

“That’s great,” she said, and promptly booked me in for a nine-fifteen interview the next morning.

Usually, I don’t do a whole lot to get ready for an interview; except for the usual of course. So I researched their website, checked out their position in the market and all was good. I got to bed plenty early enough and I turned the t-v off when it was time.

Morning came, though admittedly much early than I was used to, so I sluggishly got ready for my appointment. The office was not far from my house, so I took liberty in that and left early. Much to my annoyance and dismay, the street car was having technical difficulties, which landed me just far away enough from my destination that I had to take a cab to get there, or risk being late. I am never late, so I jumped in a cab.

The cab ride was slightly embarrassing. It took about ten minutes to get to my destination. The cabby got a good deal; I gave him a tenner for a five dollar ride, but still, I was at my destination and I made it on time.

As I climbed the starts to the second floor I thought to myself “self, this wouldn’t be a bad place to work,” and I was being truthful. The décor was loft-office style, very high ceilings and very roomy. When I got to the front desk, I was directed to a meeting room where I was to wait for Christy.

Five minute or so later, Christy showed up.  

“Good morning Darren, thank you for coming in,” she said as she brushed her long chestnut hair away from her face. “Good morning,” I said, anxious to hear about the job she had spoken to me on the phone about less than 24 hours earlier.

“Well, let me tell you about  the job,” she said.

“I would love to hear it,” I said, brimming with sunshine and unicorns, thinking that I was finally meeting my destiny as a trained and skilled journalist. 

“Well it would be a lot of tedious work, working from templates writing condo descriptions for our site,” she said, and vied to get a co-worker in to help her with the job description.

“You see,” he said, “this job is mostly inputting data into excel spread sheets – that’s what you would be doing for the major part of the day. The writing is secondary.”

I’m sure at that point the disappointment was written on my face. The unicorns that I was fondly playing with earlier were now kicking me in the head repeatedly. Both Christy and her co-worker asked almost in unison how I was with Excel spreadsheets. I said I was intermediate with that program. I didn’t want the job anymore.

“So maybe we can call you if we need a freelance writer,” said Christy. And I should have said, “Well thanks for wasting my time you dumb bitch” but I didn’t. It’s the nice guy that’s built into me via my Cape Breton roots.

So here’s a word to the wise.  

Before you spend money cleaning your suit, before you spend time researching the company, before you spend money on transit, before you spend money on cabs, make sure the job you’re getting ready to interview for is the same job you were called for by the employer.

(Sidebar) Some Things To Request From the Employer Before The Interview  

1. A detailed job description with a job title.
2. An email confirming the interview place, time and date.
3.  A ball park figure of your possible salary.
4. Ask how soon the role is to be filled.
5. Listen to what the speaker says.
6. Watch and listen carefully for the “I” word. Nothing can take the sales out of a good proposition like the word Internship.
7. Watch out for “weekly pay”. Ask what this means right off the bat.
8. Watch out for the bargain hunters – 5 different jobs wrapped tightly into one description.
9. Blocked telephone numbers.
10. Company web sites that lead to nowhere in particular.
11. Companies that need staff for “new locations” that have “just been opened”.
12.  Companies that need staff with a “sense of humor”.

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